You know, there are many reasons that people might neglect to mention certain things to a pregnant woman. There are the obvious reasons, such as not wanting to frighten the poor woman or because she never thought to ask. Then, there’s the less obvious reason that they have no idea that they are dealing with a woman who often gives herself stress-related hives worrying about every little thing, whether she’s pregnant or not.

I am that worry wart.

So, here is my second list of Things No One Told Me, and most of them are probably for that very reason.

No one told me that:

1. I would utter an earnest prayer after watching TV shows like Nanny 911, WifeSwap, and the infamous Jon & Kate + Eight. (Please, God, help these people and don’t let me be anything like them. Ever!)

2. The more I would see on TV, hear on the radio, and see at my beloved Barnes & Noble, the more I would want to hide Madeline away from all the trash. The Amish life is looking more and more appealing.

3. I would be so apprehensive about how I will fare as a parent.

4. I would actually want a minivan. Or a Hummer. Or a tank! Yes! A tank would keep Madeline nice and safe! …Where would I park it?

5. I would enjoy having another person kick me in the gut from the inside.

6.  I would be so concerned that we won’t get everything done on time and the baby will come home to no crib, no clothes, no diapers, etc. OK, maybe no one needed to tell me I’d worry about that. If I had a personal genie, it would have been done 3 months ago.

7. I would be so thankful for my level-headed husband who does everything he can to allay my worries and fears.

Despite all these insane little anxieties, I do know how wonderfully blessed I am to have the life I have and the opportunity to be a mommy at all. And, I know that we have a loving God, and caring family and friends to help us along the way!