We spent all day Saturday (and I mean all day, from 9am to 4pm) in a birthing class, followed by a tour of the hospital. By the time we got home, I had decided that I no longer have any desire to give birth.

Oh, it’s not that I was ever unaware of what would happen. I’m a big girl. I know where babies come from. I don’t like thinking about, hearing about, seeing, or having any knowledge of medical procedures. It really creeps me out. I can’t watch medical dramas like ER, or almost any show on Discovery Health because it gives me the heebeejeebees when they start describing  weird things that are growing on people, or the procedures they use to cure some of these bizarre ailments.

You can imagine my chagrin when they began to pass around medical equipment and tell us how it would be used during labor and delivery, complete with video footage in case we didn’t understand just by hearing her detailed explanations.

“This is the tube that will be inserted into your spine.” (shudder)  Stitches, and tubes, and needles – Oh, my!! (cringe)

And, don’t even get me started on the 12-step, 30-minute process involved in the simple act of going potty.

So, here’s my new birth plan. Get the child out of me however you need to, make sure we’re both healthy, but please do not feel that you have to share what you’re doing, where you’re putting whatever that is, or why you’re doing it. I’ll feel better not knowing.

3 more weeks!